


Dad by Any Other Name

by Tren



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: 5 Times, Canon Compliant, Gen, Kratos stop angsting over being a parent, This starts as comedy and then gets sad, but will end up happily, it has Kratos POV so there will be angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:59:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6478492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tren/pseuds/Tren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kratos Aurion is determined to keep his identity as a father a secret from his son. This would be much easier if the said son did not continue to accidentally call him dad.</p><p>Aka 5 times Lloyd called Kratos dad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Triet Inn

**Author's Note:**

> You may be wondering why there are six chapters listed when it's supposed to be 5 things, but that's because there will be an extra to have a more happy finish for this series of shots (since it's more of 4+1+1 construction). And well, you will see for yourself why it checks out.
> 
> Also, the next two chapters will have Kratos POV rather than Lloyd's, so you can look forward to actual awkward parent struggles of Kratos Aurion.

To say that the experience of being captured by Desians was not exhausting would be a lie. Moreover, Lloyd spent a part of the night carving an Exsphere for Raine and after that he ended up trailing after Kratos, which further delayed his sleep. Also, almost being stabbed and then berated for bad swordsmanship by Kratos made it difficult for Lloyd to drift into dreamland. Agitation did that to him.

It was then no surprise that he overslept.

“Lloyd!” a voice urged him and the boy instinctively tightened his hold on the blanket. He was not giving up on his sleep without a fight.

“Lloyd, wake up!” the voice repeated with more urgency. The youth made an annoyed sound and tried to cover himself even more thoroughly with the blanket, as if it could protect him from the outside world.

“LLOYD!” the voice got louder and through the haze of sleepiness Lloyd managed to register that it was a male voice.

Ah, it was probably…

“Not yet, dad, five more minutes…” he muttered, as he turned on the other side. 

The voice fell silent and the boy heard a sound of receding footsteps. Counting it as a victory, Lloyd retreated into sleep once more.

However…

SPLOOOOOSH

Suddenly, the bed wasn’t warm and comfortable anymore. Lloyd felt an unexpected attack of something cold and wet. Instinctively, he tumbled out of the bed. He opened his eyes in alarm and tried to get up quickly, but then noticed who stood next to him.

It was Kratos with an empty bucket.

“It’s good to see you finally awakened,” the man said with no inflection whatsoever. Lloyd looked at him and then at the bucket, which the mercenary was still holding upside down.

“You splashed me with water!” the teenager pointed out accusingly.

“Yes, it seemed to be the most efficient way to make you leave the bed, as verbal encouragement proved ineffective,” Kratos admitted with absolutely no remorse, placing the bucket on the floor. “Now that you are up, I suggest you dress up quickly. Your friends are having breakfast right now and once everyone is finished we are leaving for the Fire Temple.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lloyd muttered in annoyance, as he got up and tried to locate his clothes. “But you really don’t have to dump water on me next time!”

“I will use any means that will prove effective in waking you up,” Kratos proclaimed, as he leaned on the wall. “Also, given our limited time I think this method was quite efficient as it not only woke you up, but also nullified any need for a morning bath.”

Lloyd turned towards Kratos and tried to glare at him, but it proved impossible as the boy got caught up in his own shirt. He made a frustrated sound, as he tried to free himself, but only got tangled even more in his own garment. He was so immersed in the losing battle against his own shirt, he didn’t notice that Kratos had approached him in the meantime.

“Calm down,” he ordered and Lloyd jumped in surprise and then froze. Kratos used that opportunity and moved Lloyd’s limbs, helping him untangle from the shirt. The youth was too shocked at first to react and when he finally realized that he should protest at being helped with such a mundane activity as dressing up, Kratos had already finished and Lloyd could finally feel his head go through the collar. Instead of the fabric, he could now see the mercenary standing right before him and looking at him intently.

“Wh-what?” Lloyd asked confrontationally. He was expecting some sort of derisive joke about his inability to wear a shirt properly, but Kratos was quiet and there was something distant in his eyes, as if he was remembering something.

The mercenary opened his mouth, obviously wanting to say something, but then closed it quickly.

“No, never mind, you should hurry up,” Kratos said, as he turned around and started walking towards the door. Lloyd looked at his back suspiciously, wondering what the man was about to say to him. It seemed as if it was something important. Then again, Kratos had a permanent aura of seriousness around him.

“I will join the others, now that you are awake,” the mercenary continued, as he stopped right before the door. “Unless you need my help with putting on other pieces of clothing,” he added turning slightly back, so that Lloyd could see a faint smirk.

“I DON’T!” Lloyd shouted in indignation, but Kratos had already left the room.

As the boy continued to grumble to himself about a stupid, annoying swordsman, he completely forgot the words he muttered when he woke up.


	2. Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time we are going with a timeless classic that is Lloyd making a fool of himself during a training session. And a literal timeless classic that is a mass of parental awkwardness known as Kratos Aurion.

“Don’t tense so much, Lloyd. You need to maintain balance, but at the same time it is necessary to remain flexible,” Kratos scolded the boy. “Otherwise, you won’t be able to react fast enough during the battle.”

“I know,” Lloyd replied impatiently, as he tried and failed to correct his pose.

“If you truly knew, I wouldn’t have stated the obvious,” the mercenary countered as he once more scrutinized Lloyd’s posture. It was slightly better than before, thought there was still much room for improvement. “I guess we should move to the actual combat,” he decided. Lloyd was better at learning things through exercise and experience, rather than words alone. Kratos had no doubt that Lloyd would at some point figure out the proper movements himself through the combination of combat and helpful advice.

He merely wished it would happen sooner than later.

“Now then, try attacking me from the side,” Kratos instructed. “I will immediately launch the counterattack, so your task is to escape my counter. You will need to react quickly. Are you ready?”

Lloyd merely nodded. Kratos drew his blade and took a combat stance. The youth immediately launched himself forward, targeting the space to the left of Kratos. The man calmly analysed the charge.

 _He’s targeting my right side, to slow down the counter,_ the mercenary thought, as he slightly shifted himself. Lloyd was trying to attack as far away from his shield as possible, so it couldn’t be used for defense.

Meanwhile, Lloyd finally reached the space to the left of Kratos. The boy was still facing forward and only when he was next to his opponent he turned his whole body to make an attack. Putting the whole strength of his rapid turn into the slashes, his first sword clashed with the one held by Kratos. However, the boy was still turning and his second sword was moving quickly toward the mercenary, who didn’t have the time to shift his sword to defend from second attack. 

Not that he had to.

Kratos registered Lloyd’s surprised expression, as the mercenary took a step back, easily evading the second sword and freeing his own weapon from the lock. Like a scientist, he curiously observed the minute change in his son’s expression which went from a surprise to ‘oh, shit’ within a second. He could allow himself to do that, because his body was already preparing the promised counter. After putting all of his body into the attack, Lloyd was at the mercy of inertia which continued to spin him. The boy tried to halt and block the attack coming his way, but he was too slow. Kratos’ blade moved swiftly and stopped next to the boy’s side.

There was a moment of silence, as the realization sank in and Lloyd made an unhappy expression.

“You... you stepped back!” the boy pointed out.

“Yes.”

“That was unfair!” 

Kratos raised an eyebrow.

“Life is not fair, Lloyd. The battlefield even less so,” he pointed out.

Lloyd gritted his teeth, but said nothing. Kratos considered it a progress. Apparently, his son was starting to notice the futility of arguing with him when it came to swordsmanship.

He found it fortunate, especially because he doubted he could stop him from arguing about literally anything else.

“The point of this small exercise was to show you how easy it is to reverse the situation, if you pay attention to what enemy is doing,” Kratos explained.

“Couldn’t you just say that?” Lloyd asked disgruntled.

“I noticed you respond better to actual battle simulation.”

“Simu-what?”

“Recreating certain situations for the sake of study, in this case ones that could occur during combat.”

Lloyd narrowed his eyes.

“Do you have to use such difficult words?”

Kratos didn’t dignify that question with an answer. 

“Try again,” he commanded, once more taking a battle stance. Lloyd still looked unsatisfied, but also positioned himself. “This time try to execute your attack so that you are not…” 

The mercenary’s words stopped, because the youth once more launched himself to his left side. The attack looked the same as before, but Kratos was not about to let his guard down. 

He was sure Lloyd would try something.

The execution so far looked near identical. Lloyd rushed to his side and then made a sharp turn, executing a slashing attack. Kratos easily blocked the first attack with his sword, however, just as he anticipated, this time was different. The spinning attack was much weaker, which allowed the boy to control his balance. Rather than follow up with a slash attack, Lloyd went for a thrust. It was a piercing attack that would be impossible to dodge completely, if Kratos tried to move back.

Which was why he sidestepped instead.

Once more Kratos could observe interesting changes in Lloyd’s mimic as the boy realized his attack was evaded again, though this time there was more frustration than surprise. The youth tried to change his thrust into a slash. It was a crud attack, but not entirely useless. However, Kratos was a step ahead. He didn’t only sidestepped, but also twisted his body, so he would be facing Lloyd’s side. This allowed Kratos to use his shield to nullify the boy’s attempt to change the thrust into a slash. The sword slid uselessly against the shield. Moreover, Lloyd was now falling forward, following his weapon. Kratos not only completely avoided the thrust, but also released the locked swords. Lloyd was using the lock to help himself maintain the balance and with its sudden disappearance, he gracelessly fumbled forward and fell on the grass. Kratos nonchalantly swung the sword and stopped it above the boy’s head.

“…wide open if it fails to connect,” he finished his sentence with disappointment. Lloyd couldn’t answer immediately, as he was still face-planting, so Kratos continued mercilessly, as he sheathed his sword. “Your bad habit is that you execute your attacks without considering what will happen if they are rendered unsuccessful. Your lack of foresight may one day get you killed. Do you understand that?”

Lloyd scowled as he raised himself from the ground.

“I get, it!” he growled angrily, as he touched his cheek, which seemed to have sustained the most damage. “You don’t have to rub it so much! Give me a break, dad!”

Kratos froze.

So did Lloyd, once he realized just what exactly he had said.

“I… er, no… this was not… I didn’t mean… that… was an accident, sorry,” the boy mumbled flustered, as he desperately studied the ground.

Kratos was grateful for that. Truth be told, just for a second his face betrayed him, but luckily Lloyd completely missed it.

Not that it was the first accident like that. Kratos still vividly remember that moment in Triet where Lloyd in his sleepiness called him ‘dad’. It was a small mercy that the boy was too out of it to remember that such a thing even happen. 

Except, this time he was very much awake and judging by his reaction he would definitely remember saying the word.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kratos said, but the words came out strangled.

Lloyd tensed even more, instinctively realizing that something was off. The mercenary cursed himself. Lloyd meanwhile proceeded to jitter, expelling the nervous energy. 

Kratos tried to think of something more reassuring to say. He failed. Between his awkward silence and Lloyd’s fidgeting the atmosphere was getting more and more strained. One could cut the tension with a knife.

…which actually sounded like a decent solution.

Lloyd yelped, as Kratos drew his sword and swung it threateningly.

“Focus yourself, we are still in the middle of the training,” the mercenary said. Thankfully, this time his voice did not waver.

“B-but…” the boy sputtered, trying to get his bearings, “aren’t you angry?”

“I will be, if you keep daydreaming in the middle of your fighting lesson.”

That seemed to do the trick. Lloyd relaxed a bit and once more took a stance.

“Sorry, I’m good!” the boy said, much more energetically than before. “So what should I do next?”

Kratos wasn’t sure if Lloyd’s quick rebound was a good sign, but it was better than the awkward atmosphere from the before. He returned to instructing Lloyd, hoping that it would be the last time Lloyd slipped like that.


	3. Piggyback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the last of the happy chapters, before Kratos' guilt consumes us all (seriously, the next chapter was supposed to be a bit more serious, yet positive, but then Kratos and his conscience happened). But before that, have some nice party banter and Kratos suffering in a more comic environment.

“Put me down!” Lloyd whined.

“No,” Kratos said flatly as if they hadn’t been repeating the same exchange for the past hour.

“I can walk on my own!”

“If you could we would not be in this situation,” Kratos pointed out.

The situation in question being Kratos giving Lloyd a piggyback ride.

“Come on, Lloyd, it’s your own fault for being careless, so at least stop complaining,” Genis berated his friend.

“You are not the one who is being _carried_!!”

“This is only a temporary solution until we reach the House of Salvation. I do not plan to carry you any further than that,” Kratos assured him, but that didn’t seem to help. 

“I don’t want to be carried _at all_!” Lloyd shouted.

“Be quiet, Lloyd!” Raine snapped. “Do you want to attract monsters with your whining?!”

The healer’s outburst seemed to be effective, because Kratos could feel the teenager shrink a bit and mutter something that sounded like an apology.

Meanwhile Colette used the lull in conversation to ask her own question.

“Would you also give me a piggyback ride if I sprained my ankle?” she asked the mercenary in a tone of voice that was dangerously hopeful.

“No, you would still be able to move through flying,” Kratos shot her down. “I would only carry you if you were unconscious or stunned and thus unable to move on your own.”

Colette made a slightly disappointed face, but the mercenary could see Raine giving him a thankful nod. They may have averted a crisis just now. Unfortunately, the answer did not sit well with Lloyd.

“Wait, are you suggesting that I’m a dead weight?!”

“No, you are certainly a very alive weight, judging by the amount of noise you make,” Kratos deadpanned.

Genis snickered loudly, Lloyd shot him an angry glare.

The whole trouble started when Lloyd sprained his ankle during a fight. It wouldn’t be much of an issue, if it wasn’t for the fact that both Kratos and Raine were low on mana and unable to heal the foot completely. Therefore, while Lloyd’s foot was in no danger of getting worse, the swordsman himself was unable to stand on it due to pain. At first, due to Lloyd’s insistence they merely tried to support him, as he walked. However, his pace was so slow that Raine and Kratos decided to use a method that would allow a faster transport of the injured teen.

Unfortunately for Lloyd, Noishe had yet to return after escaping from the monsters, so the transportation duty fell to Kratos.

Since they left the more dangerous area the monsters were weak enough as to not pose a problem for the party at the moment. If nothing unexpected happened they would reach the House of Salvation in less than hour. Kratos could already see the building in the distance.

Despite having to endure almost constant complaining, Kratos was somehow enjoying himself. Aside from the gut-wrenching moment when Lloyd got hurt and the messy attempts at healing afterwards, the whole experience was pleasantly nostalgic. It reminded him of happier times, when his wife was still alive and he would sometimes carry his son on his back.

“Are we there yet?” Lloyd asked hopefully.

“Just a bit longer,” Raine said with a sigh.

“Please, show some patience,” Kratos suggested, because his own composure was starting to run low.

“How can I be patient? I’m being _carried_!”

“This is not as much of a problem as you believe it to be,” Kratos assured him, but to no avail.

“I just hate feeling useless like that!” Lloyd admitted frustrated. “My hands are just fine, but I’m stuck being carried like a bag of potatoes! And all because of one wrong step and don’t even start on how one wrong step leads to defeat, dad!”

There was a tense moment of silence. Kratos almost dropped his son in horror, when he realized that this time Lloyd managed to call him _dad_ in front of the entire party. 

This was bad.

Genis was the first one to react.

“Pfffffff, you called Kratos dad!” he pointed out with an absolute glee of someone who just witnessed a prime teasing material.

“Wh-what?!” Lloyd stuttered, obviously not fully aware of what he had just said. “You must have misheard!”

“I also heard it!” Colette admitted ever-helpfully.

Kratos regretted not having a free hand, just so he could facepalm at her happy admission. 

Actually, scratch that, he just wanted to have a free hand so no one would be able to see his face, because Kratos was sure some of the embarrassment was starting to show on his face. He was very aware that everyone was staring at him and Lloyd at the moment and that knowledge did not make him comfortable.

He sincerely hoped that maybe Raine would help him and divert everyone’s attention…

“My, I didn’t know you considered Kratos a father figure,” the healer admitted loudly, the amusement clear in her voice.

The mercenary felt utterly betrayed. 

“I DON’T!!!” Lloyd denied very loudly and Kratos jumped, because he didn’t expect his son to produce so much volume right next to his ears. It resulted in a tense moment of fumbling. Kratos made sure to regain his balance, while Lloyd desperately clung to him. The mercenary also adjusted his hearing, so it would be less sensitive.

“Please, don’t shout into my ear,” he requested, but the group was too amused by Lloyd’s blunder to show even a bit of sympathy to his plight.

“You totally do!” Genis exclaimed. “I saw you imitating him in the inn in Palmacosta!”

“I was making fun of him!” Lloyd denied. “And how do you know that?!”

“I returned earlier to the room, but you were having so much fun that I didn’t want to interrupt you,” Genis explained with a snicker. He deepened his voice to make his own bad Kratos impression, “Blame your fate!” He exploded into fit of giggles. “You were a riot.”

Kratos could not see it, but he was fairly sure that Lloyd turned red like a tomato, because he felt him hide his face in the cape.

“How could you,” the boy muttered, lamenting his friend's betrayal.

Genis was still busy chuckling.

“Now, Lloyd, there’s nothing shameful about that,” Raine added, sounding utterly unconvincing, since she also couldn’t stop herself from snickering. “It’s normal to look up to someone like that.”

“I think it’s cute!” Colette announced happily.

Lloyd whined quietly, still hiding his face in Kratos’ back. The mercenary wished he could also hide his face, because he was now certain that his fluster was becoming visible.

“Can we _please_ drop the topic?” Kratos almost begged. He was starting to feel tempted to just sprout the wings and fly away from the traitorous party and their teasing.

“Well, we probably should,” Raine admitted.

Kratos internally sighed in relief.

“After all, there will be plenty time for that once we fix Lloyd’s foot,” she added with a wink.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Lloyd bellowed.

Kratos just turned off his sense of hearing entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real reason why Kratos betrayed everyone at Tower of Salvation. Speaking of which, guess what's looming in the distance in the next chapter.


	4. Tower of Salvation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly did not realize just how conflicted Kratos had to be before the Tower of Salvation until I sat down to write this chapter. If you also did not realize this, fear not. I'm here now with a bunch of words explaining just how angsty this had to be for him.
> 
> The answer is very.
> 
> Also, the dialogue is pretty much outright taken from the game, so I hope no one comments how great it is, because this will be awkward for both of us. I swear I will return to writing my own dialogue! ...just not in the next chapter.

It was the final sword lesson.

Kratos said so himself. Tomorrow they would go to the Tower of Salvation. Their journey would end.

Lloyd probably thought that this was what Kratos meant. That once the word was saved they would go their own ways and never see each other again. 

Kratos almost felt like laughing when he thought about how Lloyd was seeing the entire situation. He was so naïve and unaware of how his own fate had been skewed from the very beginning. Lloyd’s legacy was his mother’s exsphere and a traitorous father.

It wasn’t the final lesson because they wouldn’t see each other again – their destinies were far too warped for that. 

It was just the final lesson of Kratos the mercenary before he returned to being Kratos the angel.

Those lessons weren’t meant to last. They were means towards the end. Lloyd needed to become stronger if he was to kill Mithos. To kill _him_. They were necessary to ensure the future.

Those lessons _were_ supposed to be means towards the end. Kratos was _not_ supposed to enjoy them.

Even now, a part of him was stupidly fond of the fact that Lloyd seemed to appreciate their fighting lesson.

He really _shouldn’t_. Neither of them should.

The lesson ended on satisfying note. Lloyd managed to successfully parry the attacks that came his way and even executed a counter. He was as ready as he could be under the circumstances. Kratos hoped it would be enough to make him survive tomorrow’s ordeal.

However, before he could offer any words of praise, Lloyd kneeled and said with unusual solemnity.

“Thank you, Master.”

That was… unexpected.

“Why all of a sudden?” the man asked, because even if it made sense for Lloyd to see him as a teacher figure, Kratos himself felt completely inadequate for this role. His teaching skills were meagre at most and he was unsuited for teaching Lloyd. Not to mention, a master was also a sort of role model and Kratos was sure that any illusion about him being one would be utterly shattered tomorrow. This really wasn’t a good time for Lloyd to develop those kinds of attachments.

“Well, I never thanked you this whole time,” Lloyd admitted slightly troubled. “And also, you’re like my teacher, right?”

It was as he feared. Kratos tried to collect himself and push away the horrible realization of just how much Lloyd got attached to him. Tomorrow would be even worse than he thought.

“…I do not have the right to be called that,” Kratos admitted truthfully.

Unfortunately, it was Lloyd, whose main virtue was his stubbornness.

“No, you do,” the boy said strongly, still kneeling on ground and Kratos was really hoping that he would stand up soon, because it only added to the awkwardness of the situation. “I was able to come this far because of you and the others.” 

Kratos opened his mouth, but then stopped himself. Insisting he really wasn’t fit to be anyone’s teacher would get him nowhere. It was better to drop this line of argument. 

This problem would solve itself tomorrow anyway. 

The mercenary involuntarily tightened the grip on his sword.

“…Do not forget what I have taught you, and protect your companions and yourself,” Kratos said, because the only thing he could offer at this point was a request disguised as an advice.

Lloyd seemed to be slightly thrown off by this change of conversation, but then he smiled widely.

“Yeah!” he shouted happily, before remembering he was supposed to show his seriousness. “Ah, I mean, yes, Master.”

There was a moment of silence.

“I think you should stand up,” Kratos suggested, because Lloyd still hasn’t raised himself.

“Ah, right,” the boy realized slightly troubled and stood up.

“You should get some rest. Tomorrow you will face the final challenge. You should be at your full strength.”

Lloyd, who was buy dusting his trousers looked at Kratos with a slight exasperation.

“I know, just give me a moment,” he said, as he stretched his legs.

“I will go ahead then,” Kratos decided, because he was sure that if he spent even a minute more with Lloyd his guilt would make him do something he would regret.

“Yeah, thanks Master!” Lloyd added happily, as Kratos left the clearing.

After making several steps he heard the boy’s quiet mutter. The mercenary only heard it due to his improved angel senses. He knew he wasn’t supposed to hear those words, even though they were directed towards him.

“…thanks, dad.”

He didn’t have to question Lloyd to know what he meant. The boy didn’t know the truth.

He was merely wishing.

Something inside Kratos’ stomach twisted and the man was gripped with the urge to run back, hug Lloyd and then apologize for everything he ever did and was about to do. For abandoning him, killing his mother, for being part of Cruxis, for planning to continue as its member in order to protect him and his companions, for all the lies he told and was going to say in order to hide the truth for as long as possible. And especially, for being so unworthy of being called a father.

However, before he could move even a muscle a second impulse caught him, this time ordering him to stop and think _calmly_ before doing something stupid. His ancient, inhuman part was arguing that giving in to emotions right now was foolish. He had a _mission_. There was a goal and at the end of it was _Lloyd_ – alive, well, and in a world where he and his comrades could be happy.

 _Get your priorities straight!_ Kratos ordered himself, because his mind seemed very intent on replaying Lloyd’s words rather than listening to the voice of reason. What was worse, Kratos could perfectly imagine what kind of face Lloyd made when he said them. It was probably his slightly hopeful smile he made when he strongly wished for something, but was actually afraid of voicing it, because he feared that the reality would smother the wish before it even finished leaving his lips.

Kratos was pretty sure he would do anything to turn that timid smile into a wide grin.

 _Then stop being sentimental_ , his reason whispered. Hesitantly, Kratos resumed moving towards the inn. If he stood in place too long, Lloyd would catch up to him. And he couldn’t see him at the moment. He needed to gather himself. 

He had to escape from his son, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment.

He had to return to being an angel of Cruxis. 

A part of Kratos wished that a time would come when he could hear Lloyd call him father without feeling so terribly inadequate. But that would not happen.

Tomorrow they would head to the Tower of Salvation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: There will be more dialogue taken from the game (not that there _is_ much dialogue)! Also, Kratos will be dying in more literal sense than in the previous chapters!


	5. Origin Seal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, at the canonical "dad" usage. Well, it was 2/3 "dad", but who cares. I can make it a full dad if I want. I can make a fic full of dadness. I'm doing that just now!
> 
> Once more, the chapter is sponsored by canon dialogue. A staggering amount of it, really. Also, it seems I am unable to mention Yuan without making fun of him, even in a supposedly serious and poignant chapter. Why am I not surprised?

Kratos often wondered how his death would look like. There were many different scenarios he entertained through his long life. Usually, they involved dying in combat.

The actual experience was, however, rather different from his expectations.

It was definitely less painful. Kratos expected that breaking the Origin’s Seal would be like breaking his own body, so he steeled himself for pain, but there was none. Rather, it felt as if he was suddenly drained from all his strength. 

His legs buckled under him and Kratos realized he was falling, but it was hard to care. He had no power anymore. Not even over his own body. It was a bit scary, but at the same time liberating feeling. There was nothing he could do anymore. It was the end.

His consciousness was also disappearing. It felt like falling asleep and Kratos welcomed it. It was so long since he last rested. So long…

“Kratos!” Lloyd’s distressed shout pierced through the haziness and the tranquillity Kratos felt broke like a glass.

Suddenly, regrets he thought he left behind came crashing down like an avalanche. There were still things he had to do. Things he wanted to do. 

He wanted to apologize to Lloyd for failing him. He was a good boy, who deserved so much more than him. He should have done that earlier. While his death should serve as an apology, a verbal one would probably not be amiss.

He wanted to talk with Lloyd about Anna. How she was before the fateful night when she died. About her radiant and lively demeanour. He really should have done that, but he wasn’t able to find a good moment for that. There never seemed to be one.

He wanted to tell Lloyd to pay more attention to his enemies attack patterns, since he seemed too preoccupied with his own attacks right now. He should have done that before releasing the seal, why hasn’t he done that? How unthoughtful of him.

He wanted to see the world Lloyd would create. He wanted to see it so much… 

He didn’t want to die here!

His body went into spasm, as if responding to its owner’s newfound will to live. Kratos needed strength. He desperately wished himself to move. To live. 

Despite the fact that his body should be completely devoid of any power, he realized he felt some. However, the mana was foreign, as if someone provided him with their own.

Foreign, though not unfamiliar. Kratos tried to concentrate, so he could assess what’s going on. He was sure someone was holding him. 

“Don’t worry, he’s alive,” someone said. Kratos had trouble understanding the words, but the voice was terribly familiar. “I gave him some of my mana.”

His memories finally stirred and he identified the speaker. It was Yuan.

There was a feeling of irritation at that, because, honestly, Yuan should make up his mind on whether or not he wanted him dead or not. His bipolar attitude was hard to stand sometimes.

However, before Kratos could even begin to put his thoughts together another familiar voice resounded.

“DAAAAD!!!”

There was a weird feeling of novelty mixed with familiarity, because while Lloyd had called him that once, he never did so knowingly.

Until now, that is.

“Kratos!” As if in afterthought Lloyd corrected himself and his father almost laughed at that, because it reminded him so much of the incidents during the Journey of Regeneration, when the boy would feel embarrassment at calling him “dad”. However, Kratos was too weakened for that and he only managed to open his eyes.

And before him was Lloyd, who looked both extremely relieved and incredibly angry.

“Looks like I’ve failed to die once more,” Kratos muttered weakly. He knew he was stating the obvious, but there was something profound about being not dead and the man wasn’t sure how he was feeling about that. He was still overwhelmed by the very fact that he was alive.

It seemed that his words made Lloyd decide that he was more frustrated at his father than happy.

“You stupid jerk! You can die anytime!” he shouted at Kratos and then proceeded to lecture him.

Somehow, it was okay. Kratos still felt the guilt and regret, but it wasn’t as heavy as before and seeing Lloyd care so much about him made him give up on his suicidal attempts.

Knowing that Lloyd had not given up on him was more than enough. And if he continued to live, who knew… maybe Lloyd would call him dad again. Preferably in less dire circumstances.

Just thinking about it made Kratos smile ever so slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: there is an extra. Time for celebratory afterparty! Stay tuned for that one time Lloyd did not call Kratos dad.


	6. Celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably good time to mention that, if there is one piece of canon I do elect to ignore, it's Kratos leaving with Derris-Kharlan. So yeah, you can assume that in my fics Kratos stays to be a damn present and over-protective dad (the only possible exception being a potential crack fic crossover with Graces, where Kratos makes a pit-stop in Barona and funds a knight academy). With that in mind, please enjoy the last chapter of this fic!
> 
> Also, if you are follwing my tumblr, you should have seen this from mile away, because I was never too subtle about my opinions when it comes to what type of parent Kratos is.

“To the new, regenerated world! And for its continued prosperity!” Raine called.

“Cheeeeeers!!” everyone shouted happily. Even Kratos awkwardly took part in the toast.

He definitely did not expect that he would be dragged to the celebratory party. Or to be more precise, literally dragged, because Colette was the one who insisted the most and it was hard to argue with someone who still had her angelic strength and refused to let go. He was sure he would spend the rest of the day with the Chosen wrapped around his arm, if he didn’t agree.

And once she told Lloyd that he would come, his escape route had been completely sealed.

Which was why Kratos sat between Lloyd and Zelos and wondered to himself who came up with this sitting arrangement, because the Chosen of Tethe’alla seemed to be terribly unimpressed by the fact that Kratos was an obstacle between him and his best friend. 

The fact that Kratos immediately shot down the proposition that they could change seats, probably didn’t help his mood. Then again, his question was phrased in a rather rude way and the rest of the party had mostly ignored his loud complaints about having to sit between two old man. Regal tiredly retorted that he was not old, while Kratos remarked how uncultured Zelos was. Unfortunately, he couldn’t outright argue that he wasn’t old, since everyone knew at this point that he had lived for several millennia.

Things used to be so much easier when he could pretend to be in his late twenties.

He idly observed how Zelos’ face distorted in pain when Sheena, who sat opposite to them, kicked the Chosen of Tethe’alla underneath the table for a particularly insensitive comment. Overall, the party was rather nice. Usually, the only person he could celebrate with was Yuan and even when he was in a good mood the half elf was prone to complaining. The fact that Yuan was rarely in good mood ever since Martel died resulted in Kratos’ idea of a party being a rather specific event that involved a lot of alcohol and a lot of complaining that Kratos had to listen to.

Watching Raine and Regal discuss their future plans with Presea listening intently to them, Colette trying to comfort Zelos, a disgruntled ninja insisting that “the idiot needs no pity”, and Genis and Lloyd discussing potential uses of a flaming swords was actually entertaining (though Kratos felt he should stop the last conversation soon, because Lloyd was starting to be a bit _too_ creative).

“I don’t know how well it would work with the water,” Lloyd admitted. “If it just made a lot of steam, rather than warming the water, it would be useless. But maybe I could ask dad to make a bath with a compartment for the sword and then it could heat the water!” 

“But it wouldn’t be portable then,” Genis pointed out.

“That’s true,” Lloyd admitted with a sigh. “I guess it’s easier to use it for grilling food.”

Kratos opened his mouth, but then closed it. There wasn’t really anything he could tell Lloyd regarding the Flamberge without being a hypocrite.

Maybe except that, as far as he remembered, marshmallows did not come well when heated with the sword. It was better to do them over a campfire.

However, that food related discussion made Kratos notice something he overlooked earlier. With a grim expression he addressed his son.

“Lloyd.”

“What?” the teen asked, slightly annoyed that Kratos interrupted his discussion with Genis.

“You haven’t eaten your vegetables,” the man pointed out with displeasure, looking pointedly at the abandoned carrots lying on Lloyd’s plate.

The teenager grimaced.

“I just don’t feel like eating them,” he said, eyeing the aggravating vegetables.

“You should finish them,” Kratos insisted, looking intently at Lloyd.

“Seriously, it’s a _party_! I’ve saved the world! Two worlds even! I deserve to have a break from carrots!” Lloyd insisted, drawing the attention of his friends.

“Saving the world has nothing to do with your dietary habits, Lloyd,” Kratos pointed out.

“Die-what?”

“Eating habits. You have tendency to avoid vegetables, which won’t do you good. You are still growing, after all,” he explained with an exasperated sigh.

“I’m growing fine!” Lloyd insisted.

“I would argue with that,” Kratos said narrowing his eyes. The rest of the table was quiet, deciding that trying to interfere would be very stupid. “Eat your vegetables, Lloyd.”

“Leave me alone, mom!” Lloyd retorted angrily, glaring at Kratos.

There was a moment of tense silence, as father and son stared at each other. The temperature seemed to have dropped several degrees. Nobody dared to comment about Lloyd’s choice of words.

Finally, Kratos broke the eye contact.

“Fine then,” he said, seemingly giving up. “I won’t force you to eat your carrots this time.”

Lloyd raised his brow, suspicious of his easy victory. He knew his father too well, not to realize it was some sort of trap.

“However,” Kratos continued, “next time, I will make sure you eat your vegetables. No matter what they are,” he announced with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Lloyd made a horrified face.

“You wouldn’t _dare_!” the boy hissed.

Kratos said nothing, but his glare clearly communicated the message. He would.

“You wouldn’t dare feed me _tomatoes_!”

Half of the table suppressed their exasperated sighs, because some things never changed.

“I will never forgive you!” Lloyd threatened.

“Lloyd, I believe this argument is rather weak, given how much you’ve _already_ forgiven him,” Raine pointed out. “You will need to try harder.”

The boy gave her a look of someone who stubbornly wants to cling to his opinion, but can see that this will only end up badly.

“I… I will only eat them if you do too!” Lloyd announced, after some quick thinking.

This drew a silent thumbs up from Genis. Kratos, however, only raised his eyebrows.

“If you insist on eating the same things I do, you may find yourself starving to death,” he reminded Lloyd. “Unlike me, you do need sustenance.”

“You have no right to lecture me about vegetables, when you skip the meals entirely!” the teenager pointed out, finally finding a good argument.

“I think, we established that I’m a poor role model some time ago,” Kratos said, trying to dodge the accusation.

However, at this point, the rest of the table decided to join in on their argument.

“Lloyd is right! You should eat! I’m sure you would feel happier then!” Colette interrupted them, with her own opinion.

“My angel, I think you shouldn’t bother. He wouldn’t cheer up, no matter what you fed him,” Zelos pointed out, shrugging disdainfully. “He’s the type to torture himself with blandness of the life.”

Kratos glared at the Chosen of Tethe’alla, but said nothing.

“Now, I think Lloyd has a point,” Raine joined in, deciding that an adult should try to finish this quarrel. “It would definitely help to instil good habits in him, if he _had_ a good role model.”

“That’s…” Kratos started.

“Something you are capable of, I believe,” Raine finished for him with her best teacher glare.

Kratos realized he was outflanked. He looked back at Lloyd who was still staring at him stubbornly and sighed.

“Fine then.”

Everyone watched, as Kratos reached for the bowl containing carrots and placed a portion on his plate. The portion was exactly the same size as the one on Lloyd’s plate. He then took the fork and proceeded to eat them.

After a moment of pause, Lloyd also took the fork and proceeded to eat his portion.

“I don’t know how we failed to realize that this stubbornness had to be hereditary,” Sheena pointed out with a sigh.

“It makes so much sense, in retrospect,” Genis agreed.

Both Lloyd and Kratos glared at them, but they couldn’t retort, since they were busy chewing the vegetables.

“Clear familial resemblance,” Presea agreed, as she assessed them.

Lloyd groaned in response.

“Don’t make strange noises while eating,” his father quickly chided him.

The teenager angrily stabbed his fork into carrots, probably deciding that it must have all been their fault.

*

“You weren’t serious, right?” Lloyd asked later, when the party had ended and everyone dispersed to their rooms in the inn. He ended up sharing the room with his father, which allowed him to ask the question that had been gnawing at him ever since “the carrot incident”.

Kratos glanced at him questioningly. He had been reading a book, before Lloyd interrupted him.

“About feeding me tomatoes,” Lloyd specified.

The man made a thoughtful face.

“Don’t look as if you are seriously considering this!”

“Not really,” Kratos admitted. “I mostly wanted to motivate you to eat the vegetables. I didn’t think the whole thing would get so much out of hand.”

“Well, what else did you expect?”

“That you would eat your vegetables without arguing, which, I admit, was a naïve assumption.”

Lloyd threw a pillow at his father after hearing that, but the man swiftly caught it and retaliated with a well-aimed throw. Lloyd feel onto his bed, as the pillow struck his face.

Kratos glanced back to his book, as he waited for Lloyd to recover. However, contrary to his expectations, the boy didn’t seem to want to retaliate. He continued to lie on the bed.

“I was serious,” Lloyd admitted, as he hugged the pillow. “I will eat stuff, if you also eat it.”

“I see,” Kratos acknowledged him with a nod.

“So I hope you eat lots of good stuff. So we can enjoy it together,” the boy continued.

“I will do my best, then.”

Lloyd grinned at him and Kratos involuntary smiled back. Then, he paused remembering something.

“Just one thing Lloyd,” he said.

“Yeah?” the boy asked, as he turned on his side, so he could see his father. 

“I won’t threaten you to make you eat your vegetables anymore. But if you call me _mom_ one more time, I swear you will eat tomatoes for the whole week,” Kratos announced seriously.

Lloyd, showing his evident maturity, just stuck his tongue at his father.


End file.
